Just for fun

By Jeanette Haygood

I hope you all have been enjoying the VR newsletter! Angela suggested that we add a new column that would bring a little humor and maybe make us think a bit now and then. I have gathered some jokes, some puns, some riddles and some quotes that I hope will bring a smile to your day and maybe a belly laugh or two. Feel free to send me any material that you would like to share in further editions of the newsletter. You can e-mail me any time at kjhveh@medinaec.com

Laugh it up!

Jeanette

 

Yup, gardening and laughing are two of the best things in life
you can do to promote good health and a sense of well being." 
-   David Hobson, The Mad Gardener

JOKE –

Which tree doesn’t play checkers?

Answer – The ChessNut (Chestnut)

As I write the March column we are experiencing an awful cold front. It was a bit unexpected after all the nice weather we’ve had. In honor of the miserable time we are having I give you -

How Cold Is Cold?

60 degrees - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat
40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 degrees - Italian cars don't start
32 degrees - Water freezes
30 degrees - You plan your vacation to Australia
25 degrees - Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming

20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 degrees - French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 degrees - American cars don't start
0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts
-10 degrees - German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist
-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start
-25 degrees - Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start
-40 degrees - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 degrees - Hell freezes over, Polar bears move South
-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

JOKE –

What is a ten letter word for something that starts with GAS?

Answer – Automobile

Daffynitions

Alarm Clock – Something to scare the daylights into you.

Baby Sitter – Someone who takes hush money.

Caterpillar – A worm wearing a sweater.

Egotist – Some one who is always me-deep in conversation.

Grownup – Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Shopper – One who likes to go buy-buy.

Tent Caterpillar – A worm who likes to camp out.

 

Gardening: another day at the plant.

In joy or sadness, flowers are our constant friends.
-  Kozuko Okakura

 

 

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