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Fun Page

A woman stopped by at her recently married son's house. She rang the
doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on
the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume
filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed!
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to
no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic
and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on
her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the
couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He
walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?

From Brother Jack
GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
 

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students here is something to make you chuckle.  Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.  After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"  
 

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"Don't what?"  Adam replied.

 
   
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."  God said.

 
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"Forbidden fruit?  We have forbidden fruit?  Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

 
 
 
"No Way!"

 
 
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"Yes way!"

 
 
 
 
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

 
 
 
 
"Why"

 
"Because I am your Father and I said so!"  God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.  A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was  angry!  "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?"  God asked.

 
 
 
 
"Uh huh," Adam replied.

 
 
 
 
"Then why did you?" said the Father.

 
 
 
 
"I don't know," said Eve.

 
 
 
 
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"

 
 
 
 
"Did too!"

 
 
 
 
"DID NOT!"

 
 
 
 
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

 
 
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!  If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.  If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

 

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.  Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

 
 
 
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

 
 
 
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

 
 
 
 
4. Children seldom misquote you.  In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

 
 
 
 
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

 
 
 
 
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

 
 
 
 

 


 
 
 
 
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.  They will choose your nursing home one day.

 
 
 
 
AND FINALLY:

 
 
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

 
 
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

 
 
Quick, send this on to ten people within the next five minutes.  Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, ten people will be laughing.

more jokes here

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